My fourth grade daughter logged into her Google classroom at 8:30 a.m. today, and judging by the groans, deep sighs and slumped posture, she was not excited to be there. Her marvelous music teacher had asked them choose a Beatles song and make up their own lyrics to the classic melody. They were to record themselves singing the song and send it to their teacher. My child spent all day avoiding this assignment. She completed her other online learning, then went back to complaining and sighing despondently over this project.
I listened to the whining, “I don’t know what to do,” for 15 minutes or so, then gave up on my own project to read through her assignment. One song included in the list of Beatles music was, “Come Together.” Immediately, I knew that we could do a “Stay Apart” version. Upon hearing my suggestion, my daughter perked up. “Oh yeah, we could make it about staying apart because of the coronavirus.” And just like that, she was pumped about the very assignment she had moaned and groaned about all day long.
HELP THEM FIND THE FUN
If you have kids that are struggling through online learning, whining and complaining about their schoolwork, sometimes (not always, by any stretch), but sometimes, they need to see a spark of enthusiasm in someone else.
It’s hard for my kids to work alone, with very little input or connection with their peers. They have been in a class of 25-30 kids, asking each other questions and getting help from a friend. Asking the teacher an off-the-cuff question when it pops in their mind. Contrast that with sitting silently in front of a screen, having to read and decipher for themselves the instructions. They have to independently decide when to do what, and figure out new technology for doing and submitting work.
My daughter was capable of doing the assignment; and as a good student, she would have turned something in on her own. But she lit up when she saw that I was excited about helping her with this assignment and we began brainstorming lyrics. She was engaged, smiling, and having fun. We had a blast doing that assignment together.
Lessons Learned From Helping My Daughter With Her Online Learning Homework
There were three lessons that stood out to me from the experience of helping my daughter with her online learning assignment.
INVOLVEMENT
First, and perhaps most obviously, our kids need our involvement in their schoolwork right now. That will look different for every child and every parent. Parents can’t be expected to drop their own work every time a child whines that “this is hard.” But kids can’t be set in front of their Chromebook and told to “do school.” Or if they are, many will struggle one way or another. My daughter needed me to get her started and walk her through an assignment when she didn’t know where to begin.
ENCOURAGEMENT
Second, this is a rare opportunity for me as a parent to observe my child’s schooling at close range. I’m getting a close-up look at how my child learns. I am able to see what interests them, what they struggle with, and what type of explanation turns on the light bulb. I want to pay attention. This is valuable first-hand knowledge that I can utilize to guide them in developing good study habits. I will be able to more specifically encourage them in areas where they shine. My daughter needed me to tell her that I could see the potential in her finished product. She needed to bounce ideas off another person and get positive feedback when she came up with something good.
EMPATHY
Third, it’s okay for me as the parent to determine a great deal of what schoolwork gets done, and how. This is an unprecedented upheaval in our children’s educational system. When we began our distance learning, I had my kids sitting at a desk, logged on before 9am, and cracked the whip a little. I was more likely to say, “your teacher must think you can do this or she wouldn’t assign it,” than to say, “if we can’t figure this out, you don’t have to do it.”
Teachers are Amazing
I’m not knocking our school district, teachers, or anyone else involved in this mad scramble to provide online learning for my kids. We all know it’s not ideal, but let me tell you…I’m impressed. My kids’ teachers are patiently explaining to a group of 7 year-olds how to mute a microphone. They’re working to create interesting video content for 12 year-olds. And they must be bombarded with hundreds of messages a day. They are AMAZING!!!!
But I’m the one who knows that my child is overwhelmed by her feelings today, though she doesn’t know how to express that. My feelings of sadness, loss, or frustration with what is going on in the world, and the impact on my family, are perhaps more easily identified than those of my child, who feels angry and irritable without knowing why.
My acknowledgment to them that this is really hard has a significant impact on my kids’ attitude toward schoolwork. Any time I can offer some grace, make them laugh, or have a little cry together is a connection that validates their struggle to deal with this new normal. My daughter needed me to tell her that it was okay to feel grumpy, and to help her find a way to laugh and work through her frustration.
We Turned That Frown Upside Down
So thanks, Ms. Rugile, for assigning a project that my daughter grumbled about. It turned out to be the absolute best thing we did all day! Our “COVID-19 Stay Apart” video will be a fond memory for years to come.
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