My oldest daughter turns twelve today. She is lovely, and I am embracing this stage of life, but I do feel nostalgic for the excitement of princess parties and dress-up days. When my kids were little, I loved planning their birthday parties. I’ve done Minnie Mouse, Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony, Frozen, Care Bears, and Lego Friends character parties. We’ve had alphabet, princess, flowers, fairy, and unicorn themes. I’ve majored in Pinterest party themes for the past decade. But they are growing out of “little kid” parties..sniff, sniff. I still want my girls to know that I think they’re pretty awesome, and I want to make their birthday a day we celebrate all the ways they are loved and special to our family.
So, I started brainstorming and searching for ways that I can show my daughter how much she means to me. I’m excited to share a list of nine ways you can make your child’s birthday a meaningful, special day for them. Some of these are already birthday traditions in our family. And others I will try for the first time this year.
#1: Birthday Boosts
Have everyone in the family write a compliment for the birthday girl on a small piece of paper. Then take turns reading your compliments out loud.
Variation: You could go for a total number of compliments equal to the birthday age.
Birthday Traditions: Put all the compliments into a glass jar that you add to each year! Give it a fun label like “Birthday Boosts” or “Why We Love You” or “Happy Thoughts!” She can pull out an encouraging note to read when she’s having a no-good, terrible, horrible very bad day!
#2: Birthday Bites
Purchase some of the birthday girl’s favorite things equal to her age. So for my daughter turning 12, I got 12 of her favorite candies (e.g. Twizzlers, Mike&Ike’s, Skittles) and put them in a little bag labeled “12 birthday bites.” Halloween candy is on sale right now, and those little snack size packages are perfect for a little treat!
Birthday Traditions: Each year, get a number of things equal to her age, in a different theme. You could make it “a few of your favorite things” and venture beyond food favorites.
#3: Birthday Wishes
Our kids’ 1st grade teacher always grants wishes at the end of the school year. It is a beloved tradition, and all of my girls have had the joy of experiencing this 1st grade fun. I think this would be a special thing to do as a birthday celebration as well. Ask your birthday girl to give you a list of birthday wishes. Foods she’d love, places she’d like to go, gift requests. Instruct her to give you big wishes, small wishes, and everything in between. Then grant her birthday number of wishes (eleven wishes for an excellent 11-year old!) over the course of her birthday week or month.
Variation: You could continue with the alliteration and give “birthday blessings.”
#4: Birthday Journal
Our family uses journals instead of buying birthday cards. We each write a message to the birthday girl, and add to the journal each year. I hope it will be a special keepsake when my girls are grown and living away from home.
#5: Birthday Books
Books are appropriate for every occasion, so of course, I think books should be on a list of birthday gifts. I wrote a post titled, “A Year of Children’s Books,” about giving books that correspond to your child’s birth month. My kids have always loved reading books that include their name as a character. You could also give a book that includes the number of their age in the title, or just give a stack of books (6 books for a sensational 6-year old!).
#6: Birthday Bucks
Give cash ($7 for a super 7-year old!). Especially fun if you give it in an unexpected way. Over at Smart Fun DIY, you can find a BIG list of ways to give cash creatively. For a slightly older child, you could combine the birthday bucks with birthday books and hide a dollar in each book as a surprise bookmark.
#7: Birthday Treasure Hunt
Hide a gift, and create clues equal to the number of years (10 clues for a terrific 10-year old!) for a bit of birthday fun. The key is to decide on your hiding places and then write the clues. Also, make yourself a cheat sheet that lists your clues along with the corresponding hiding place. You can vary the difficulty of your clues depending on the age of your birthday girl. I think rhyming clues are fun, but you can also just describe a place: find your next clue under a wily fox.
Examples:
Clue – Find me in a box, under a fox. (This might be appropriate for a 6-year old. Hide the next clue in a box under a stuffed fox she keeps in her bedroom.) Clue – I’m orange and wily; I don’t fit in a cup. To find your clue, you must pick me up. (This version would be better suited to a 9- or 10-year old.) I think you get the idea!
#8: Birthday Photos
You can use a physical photo album, or create a folder on your computer where you save some birthday pictures each year. Then on her birthday, spend a few minutes reminiscing about how adorable she was at 2, 4, and 10! Every kid loves looking at pictures of themselves. This is one that I wish I had started sooner, but I plan to make this one of our birthday traditions from now on.
#9: Birthday Playlist
Make a playlist of their favorite songs to wake them up with in the morning (9 favorite songs for a neat 9-year old!). They can boogie their way through breakfast and beyond. Music always lifts the mood at our house!
My Birthday Celebration Plan
For my 12-year old this year, I’ll be doing the Birthday Boosts, Birthday Bites, Birthday Journal, and Birthday Playlist. Instead of a birthday party, my daughter chose to have a shopping day at the mall with a friend as her birthday celebration this year. It was a fun day, and she was happy with her choice, but as a mom it felt a little under-celebrated.
As they get older, kids naturally have more specific wishes about how they want to celebrate their special day. But more than anything, I want them to feel loved unconditionally. To know deep down inside that I will be there for them no matter what. Birthday traditions are a way for me to express to my kids that I see their uniqueness. It’s a way to encourage and cheer each other on, not because of any great accomplishment; just because of who they are. Ultimately, I want them to rest in knowing this: We’re family. You belong here.
I hope my daughter feels celebrated today. And I hope that years from now when she is far away from me on her birthday, the words written in her birthday journal elicit an inexpressible but unshakable knowing. That she is worthy of love. That she has something of value to offer the world. That my love has proven elastic enough to love around all the rough edges.
As she reads the words, I want her to hear my voice in her head whispering, “I’m here for you. You matter to me. And I think you’re pretty awesome!”
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