A Christian Woman’s Guide to Setting Biblical Priorities in a Busy World
Have you ever thought about setting spiritual priorities the same way you set priorities for your health, your career, or your family?
The beginning of a year brings all kinds of fresh start energy for many of us. We set goals and determine that this will be the year we lose 10 pounds, drink more water, stop yelling at the kids, clear out our garage clutter, get our old photos digitized, or finish a Bible read-through for once.
We know the statistics about how many people give up on their new year’s goals and resolutions by February. In the back of our mind, we know that we’ve set the exact same goal for the past 8 years and it’s probably not going to happen this year either.
What is it about the disconnect between what we say we want to do and what we actually do?
Disciplined Tiny Habits Plus the Power of God
For the Christian woman setting a goal to read her Bible or pray daily, it’s not just that we overestimate our willpower and underestimate the power of tiny habits. We tend to charge ahead toward our spiritual goals, forgetting to depend on the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit of God that enables us to do the will of God.
The Roles of Dependence and Discipline in Growing Our Faith
In order to experience spiritual growth, we need dependence and discipline. Author Jerry Bridges used the analogy of an airplane with two wings, one representing our dependence (on God) and the other representing discipline (those small deposits of choosing to do the hard thing and do it repeatedly). The plane needs both to fly, and we need both to grow in our walk with the Lord.
If you’re an organized, Type-A person who loves a checklist and manages your calendar like a pro, you might struggle more with dependence. This can look like treating Bible reading or prayer as a task or chore to be checked off, and not taking the time to ask God to grow your love for Him and reveal Himself to you.
On the other hand, if you’re the laidback, go-with-the-flow type person who loves an impromptu party and always has time for coffee and conversation, you might struggle more with discipline. This can look like truly desiring to grow in faith, but not being consistent in making the effort to maintain a habit of Bible reading and prayer.
These are generalities and most of us struggle with both dependence and discipline depending on the specific situation—or even the day!
You may have tried to complete a Bible reading plan before, tried to implement a regular prayer time, or tried to curb your angry outbursts. We know that developing a good habit is hard. If it wasn’t hard, we wouldn’t feel our need for dependence on God.
Our struggle to be disciplined in our good habits is actually a healthy reminder of our need for Jesus!
What God Wants Us to Prioritize
This article aims to provide an overview for how to set priorities that will help you grow in your faith.
Over the next few weeks, we’ll go into more detail covering three areas of spiritual priority: loving God, loving others, and spiritual growth.
This isn’t a productivity seminar, although using our time productively is praiseworthy. We might think of the Proverbs 31 woman as the shining example of a productive woman, but verse 31 tells us that she is a woman who “fears the Lord.”
This prioritizing of her relationship with the Lord leads her to joyful service, generosity with her time and money, creativity, motivation, wisdom in decision-making. These things are all the result of a heart of faithful trust in the Lord our God.
Most of us feel there is not enough time, not just in our days and weeks, but as we look out into the years of a lifespan. God asks us to trust him with the time he gives us, however many years that may be. Our responsibility is to be faithful with the moments we’re given.
Definition of Priority
A priority is by definition something that is regarded as more important than something else. We all understand the basic idea when we think about medical triage. An assessment is made of the urgency and nature of treatment required and patients are prioritized in a specific order.
There are a few things we know from scripture that God wants us to prioritize, or place in a position of importance.
- Love God
- Love others
- Spiritual growth
This ordering of priority doesn’t mean you must spend the most time reading your Bible and in prayer. The second most amount of time playing with your kids and talking with your husband. The third most amount of time serving at church, mentoring someone, or caring for someone else’s needs. And then taking care of everything else in your life with the few moments you have left over.
It does mean that you should consider first how to prioritize your relationship with God, with others, and how to grow in your faith.
Rocks in a Jar
We’ve all heard the analogy of the big rocks, little pebbles, and sand that must be put into a jar. The idea is that the big rocks have to go in first, then the pebbles, and finally the sand can fill in around the stones. If put the sand and little pebbles in first, there won’t be enough room for the big rocks.
Consider what we’re talking about here—spiritual priorities—your big rocks. They don’t necessarily have to take up the greatest number of hours in your day. But if you don’t have a plan to prioritize them, the pebbles and sand will fill your jar and you may go weeks, months, or even years without experiencing the growth you could enjoy by intentionally setting aside time and energy toward your big rocks.
That’s what we’re going to talk about today.
Not saying yes to everything you’re asked to do. Not serving until you are exhausted and resentful. But considering how you can spend time deepening your love for God, love for others, and growing in the grace and knowledge of our Savior Jesus Christ.
Of course, these priorities come with a caveat that there are also seasons and stages where you are more or less able to give of your time in specific ways. I understand real life—the busyness that comes with work, kids, school, friends, church. But no matter your age or stage of life, there is most certainly a way for you to prioritize the things that should be put in a place of first importance.
It Starts with Prayer
Before we dive into brainstorming and goal setting, it is essential that we address the dependence aspect of setting spiritual priorities.
It is God who enables, equips, and grows our faith. It is God who give us strength when we’re weak, He who knows the tomorrows we can’t see, He who can bring good from the circumstances that feel unfair or unjust.
Take a few moments to thank God for his goodness and faithfulness. Consider His power alongside his care for you. Thank Him for the gift of time and order. In busy seasons (which is always), I often joke with my kids about how much I wish God had given us 30-hour days. And almost always, right after the words leave my mouth, I remind myself how good it is that I am not God. He has ordained time, seasonality, and our very real limitations to keep us from falsely believing we don’t need Him.
Ask for wisdom as you embark on a new year. Ask that God would direct your desires to align with his heart, show you where you need to change, slow down, step out in faith, or wait patiently.
Consider asking some of the following questions as you pray. Throughout the rest of today and over the next several days, be watchful for ways God may answer these questions through His word, through other people, or through the quiet promptings of His Spirit.
Use my guided workbook to walk through setting spiritual priorities in all three areas—loving God, loving others, and spiritual growth. You’ll find prompts, questions, and practical suggestions to help you determine and implement habits and disciplines that respond to God in faithful obedience.
Questions for Individual Prayer
Read through the following questions and honestly bring them to the Lord. Pray about them today and continue to ask God these questions over the next days and weeks. Look and listen for the Holy Spirit’s response as you read scripture, interact with fellow Christians, and in the circumstances that arise in your day-to-day life.
- Is my heart cold toward spiritual things? Am I disappointed with You or with other Christians?
- Does anything need to change in order for me to experience spiritual growth this year?
- Is there anything I need to let go of? Bad habits? Activities that shouldn’t be a priority for me right now? Selfish desires?
- Am I struggling to trust You in a specific circumstance?
- Are the cares of life choking out the good fruit that should be evident in my life? Am I discontent? Envious? Bitter?
- How do You want to use me in the lives of others? How can I engage with the building of Your kingdom this year?
- Who should I connect with more deeply? If there is someone You want me to reach out to, encourage, or otherwise build a relationship with, please bring them to my mind and prompt me to action.
- How do you want to grow my love for You next year? My joy in You? My peace?
- Lay out your desires for this year before the Lord. Be honest. Express your willingness to lay down your dreams and desires if that is His will. Consider your relationships, ministry involvement, finances, career, physical body, emotional needs.
Heavenly Father, redeem my time, remove regret, and show me how to use my days to love you and love others. Before I begin to believe that I am in control of my time and capable of handling life on my own, remind me to trust in you with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. I ask you for wisdom in decision making, that I might in all things seek to honor and glorify your name.
Three Spiritual Priorities
We’ll go deeper into each of these priorities in the coming weeks, but for now, let’s think about the three priorities we know God wants for us.
Priority #1: Love God
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.
Matthew 22:37
What practical steps can I take to deepen my love for God?
Spend a little time thinking about whether you are spending any of your 24 hours seeking to love God. If not, why not? How could you make that a priority?
Can you eliminate or reduce something less important—a few pebbles or piles of sand—to make time for the big rock that you want to prioritize?
What specific tools, resources, plans, or people could help you on your journey to making it a priority to love God more?
Read: Practical Habits to Prioritize Bible Reading and Prayer
Priority #2: Love Others
This is my commandment, That you love one another, as I have loved you.
John 15:12
We know that people are more important than things. Relationships matter more than tasks. But when our eyes open in the morning, we tend to focus either on our to-do list or on whatever captures our immediate attention. It takes intention to prioritize the people in our lives.
What practical steps can I take to love others?
Start close to home. If you’re married, how are you prioritizing your marriage? If you have children, how are you loving them in a way that shows them the love and grace of Jesus?
What about outside your family? Are you serving in a local church? Do you engage with others outside your Christian bubble?
Where do you feel God calling you to love others? Do you allow enough margin in your busy life to give of your time, energy, and financial resources to love others?
What specific tools, resources, plans, or people could help you on your journey to love others?
Read: Practical Habits to Prioritize Loving Others
Priority #3: Grow in Faith
And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.
Colossians 1:9-10
An excellent way to begin thinking about priorities outside the basics of loving God and loving others is to first ask—what matters to God?
Throughout scripture, it is clear that God cares about the state of our hearts more than anything else. In light of that knowledge, we can reflect on some outward expressions of our inward priorities.
What practical steps can I take to grow in faith?
We read in Galatians that the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Are you exhibiting those fruits or are you struggling in some of those areas?
There are many, many more areas of spiritual growth. The Bible calls us to give thanks, to share the gospel, to be humble. The list of ways we can grow goes on and on.
We can look to the life of Jesus in the New Testament, read exhortations in the letters of Paul or Peter, and most importantly, pray that God will reveal to us an area in which we need to grow.
What has God laid on your heart? How is He asking you to trust Him, obey His word, step out in faith, share your faith, believe His promises, or have an answer for the hope that is within you?
Remember, don’t try to prioritize every single thing and carve out time to “do it all.” Spend some time in prayer asking God to reveal to you what will draw your heart closer to him. Choose one area to prioritize and brainstorm ways to make time at least weekly to engage your heart and mind in that pursuit.
Read: Practical Habits to Prioritize Spiritual Growth
Dependence and Discipline in Daily Life
You already have priorities in your life right now. They may not be the priorities you say you want, but whatever you are making time for is a priority for you. Take a look at your daily screen time average and see how much of a priority you’ve made social media, games, or random YouTube videos!
Start with prayer—acknowledge the dependence that is a reality of the Christian life. We need Jesus.
Then, start small. Choose one priority—one thing—that is a big rock and you want to make time for no matter how busy life is or what season of life you’re experiencing. Make it a habit to pursue that thing.
And when life gets in the way of your perfect plans, adjust. Slept in and didn’t get your Bible reading done before the kids needed you? Listen to your scripture passage in an audio Bible app. Read while the kids have a snack. Leave your Bible open on the counter to read during the day, or bring it with you to read during your lunch hour. The discipline part of spiritual priorities takes effort. But the effort you make to prioritize loving God, loving others, and growing in faith is worth it. Not just from an eternal perspective, but in the here and now.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33
Over the next few weeks we’ll dive deeper into these three areas in specific, practical ways. What can you do to increase your love for God? How can you show love to others? What steps should you take to grow in faith, grace, and spiritual knowledge? You’ll find prompts and questions to help you think through your priorities and suggestions for implementing them.
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