Fruit of the Spirit Monthly Scripture Focus: Gentleness
As part of our monthly character lessons, we are going through the fruits of the spirit one by one. This month’s character lesson focus is gentleness.
Follow along with us as you invite and encourage your teens to allow God’s spirit to develop their character. The content of this monthly study is geared for middle and high school students, but feel free to adapt if you wish for younger students. Included are a variety of suggestions to use throughout the month to focus on gentleness as described in the Bible.
At the end of this article, you’ll find the complete list of monthly character lessons based on fruits of the spirit, and will be able to click directly through to any additional lessons you wish to access.
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Fruit of the Spirit Passage
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
Gentleness in the Bible
Question: How many times does the word gentle or gentleness appear in the Bible?
Answer: 54 times in the ESV**
**statistics from logos.com. Each translation will have a slightly different count.
Big Picture: How the Bible Talks about Gentleness
1 // Jesus, all-powerful God and creator of all, described himself as gentle
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:29 (ESV)
2 // Gentleness should be the Christian response when dealing with conflict
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
3 // Gentleness is not weakness, rather it is strength combined with humility and restraint
Brothers and sisters, even if a person is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual are to restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you are not tempted as well. Galatians 6:1 (NASB)
What Does the Bible Say about Gentleness?
Look at the following scriptures and ask these two questions.
Question #1: What do I learn about God and how He views gentleness from this scripture?
Question #2: Is there any instruction for me in this scripture about how I should exhibit gentleness?
Scriptures about Gentleness
One of the most quoted, and convicting, verses about gentleness is the proverb talking about a gentle answer deflecting anger. The world certainly seems full of anger these days, and our gentle answers are needed more than ever.
Read the scriptures below that reference gentleness or being gentle and consider the questions asked above.
Bible Verses that Reference Gentleness
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:29 (ESV)
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)
But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. 1 Timothy 6:1 1(ESV)
Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. Titus 3:1-2 (ESV)
He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness. Hebrews 5:2 (NIV)
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. James 3:17 (ESV)
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4 (ESV)
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect… 1 Peter 3:15 (NIV)
Examples of Gentleness in Scripture
Look up one or more of the following passages to read a story displaying gentleness in some way. Gentleness seems to be exemplified by responding in a kind, humble, and restrained way to accusation, conflict, or opportunity for self-promotion. Ask yourself these two questions.
- How do I see gentleness in action here?
- What does God want to teach me about gentleness from this passage?
Passage #1
Matthew 18:1-5 (Jesus)
We might not catch the depth of meaning in these few verses if we don’t understand the culture at the time Jesus and his disciples were alive. Children were not valued, and were certainly not considered “the greatest” at this time in history. Many times throughout the gospels, Jesus makes a point to emphasize the importance of humility in his upside-down kingdom.
Jesus is not always gentle in the way we think of gentleness—never raising our voice, asserting an opinion, or demanding anything from others. Jesus does do those things in the gospels, but never in a selfish manner. His nature never seeks to put himself first.
Our gentleness should be informed by this knowledge. Speaking up on behalf of others or confronting those who are mistreating others while maintaining a posture of gentleness toward those who are being attacked is perfectly in line with the gentleness of Jesus.
Passage #2
Romans 14 (Paul’s writing in Romans)
This can be a complicated passage to follow in some translations. The New Living Translation (NLT) is probably a little easier to understand than the ESV or NIV.
Basically, Paul is writing to the church in Rome and in this section is talking to Christians who have differing opinions about specific behaviors.
Some people believe that doing (or not doing) a particular thing is a sin, while others do not have the same conviction. The word used to describe the person who believes this specific behavior is wrong is weak. Paul’s instruction is to not argue with or condemn the other person.
It’s important to note that the situation described here is not something that scripture clearly delineates as against God’s commands, but rather a personal conviction based on conscience. In this case, Christians are to treat one another gently, not being argumentative or demeaning to one another.
Passage #3
Exodus 18 (Moses)
We’ve seen that one evidence of gentleness is a humble heart. In Numbers 12:3, Moses is described as humble, and the amplified Bible includes the word gentle to flesh out the description.
The passage in Exodus 18 where Moses’ father-in-law tells Moses that he needed to make some changes to the way he was running things, Moses responded with gentleness. Although Moses was the leader in charge, he listened thoughtfully and approached the advice with a teachable spirit. That is true gentleness—strength tempered by restraint and humility.
Examples in Scripture of a Heart Lacking in Gentleness
Now, look up one or more of the following passages and think about these questions.
- Describe the lack of gentleness in this story.
- What can we learn from the lack of gentleness we read about in these passages?
Matthew 2:1-18 (Herod)
The story of Herod killing babies is truly horrific. Herod’s heart was cruel and violent because he was proud and intent on serving his own self interest. As we saw in the previous Bible passages, gentleness is exemplified by kindness and humility. There is no room for gentleness when we are only out to get what we can for ourselves.
1 Kings 21: 1-16 (Jezebel)
The name Jezebel is fairly synonymous with bad behavior, but this story reveals again the selfish nature behind a lack of gentleness. Jezebel remorselessly orders the murder of a man in order to take his property.
Esther 3 (Haman)
We read in this passage the story of Haman, a powerful official in the Persian Empire, and his rage directed toward the Jewish people. When he felt disrespected, he lashed out against not only the person he had the problem with, but in anger against an entire ethnic group.
Reflection Questions
Now that you’ve read several Bible verses about gentleness, seen examples of gentleness in action and examples of people not exhibiting gentleness, reflect on the following two questions.
- Would others describe me as a person characterized by gentleness?
- How can I express this fruit of the spirit—gentleness—in a practical way in my life this month?
Audio/Video Content Related to Gentleness
Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness (YouTube – 412teens.org)
God’s Story – Fruit of the Spirit – Gentleness (YouTube – Crossroads Kids’ Club)
Gentleness (YouTube – The Bible Applied)
Music Related to Gentleness
Add some of these to your regular music playlist this month. Listen while you study, clean your room, or take a walk.
Psalm 41 (YouTube – The Psalms Project)
Gentle and Lowly (YouTube – Joyful Noise)
Pass Me Not, O Gentle Savior (YouTube – Reawaken Hymns)
Jesus, Strong and Kind (YouTube – City Alight)
Prayer Related to Gentleness
Your relationship with God is deepened by not only listening to His word, but communicating back to Him through prayer.
Following are prayers you can personalize and pray from your heart. Your words don’t have to be fancy. Simply thank God for His gentleness and ask him to empower you through the Holy Spirit to exhibit gentleness to those around you.
Heavenly Father, my natural response to accusation or anger is to retaliate in kind. Please remind me in the moment to respond with a gentle answer. Help me remember that harsh words will not help defuse a difficult situation, and that your will for me is gentleness and humility.
(based on Proverbs 15:1)
Lord God, I acknowledge your calling to be completely humble and gentle. Give me patience when dealing with others, even when I believe I am in the right. Bring to my mind your words describing yourself as gentle and lowly, showing love to those who don’t deserve it.
(based on Ephesians 4:2)
God, it sometimes feels hard to know how to stand up to wrongdoing and problems in our culture while maintaining a gentle and respectful attitude. Keep my heart fixed on the truth of your word, so that I have truth to share when asked about the reason for my hope. Provide me with words that exude gentleness and respect when interacting with those who are seeking to learn more about you.
(based on 1 Peter 3:15)
Key Bible Verses about Gentleness
Choose one verse to memorize this month, either from the selections listed, or find another scripture that speaks to the attribute of gentleness. Make sure it is a verse you have not already memorized!
Proverbs 15:1
Proverbs 15:4
Matthew 11:29
Galatians 6:1
Ephesians 4:1-2
1 Timothy 6:11
2 Timothy 2:25
Titus 3:1-2
Hebrews 5:2
James 3:17
1 Peter 3:4
1 Peter 3:15
Additional Reading on the Topic of Gentleness
Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund
Putting on a Gentle and Quiet Spirit: 1 Peter by Elizabeth George
A Gentle Answer by Scott Sauls
Galatians 5:22-23
Read through the passage several times this month to help you commit it to memory. Just reading the verse repeatedly as you go through studying a different fruit of the spirit each month will help you to “hide God’s word in your heart.”
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
Monthly Fruit of the Spirit Word Study
Moving through the fruit of the spirit in order they are listed in the passage, this is the progression throughout the school year. However, you could certainly choose to rearrange the topics if you chose to do so.
For example, you could explore the character trait of being loving in February to tie in with Valentine’s Day or study joy in December to correspond to Christmas activities. Each word stands alone and the resources do not build on one another, so you have freedom to “drag and drop” into whichever time period you wish.
Monthly Fruit of the Spirit Study for Students
This isn’t a typical Bible study in the sense of having daily or weekly lessons. Instead, it’s intended to be used as a supplemental study that’s low-key and flexible.
The monthly focus on one specific fruit of the spirit gives plenty of opportunity for discussion, scripture study, and reflection.
Even if your kids are doing a regular Bible study (which I hope they are), you can add in a few scriptures, a video, have them listen to a piece of music or read a poem each month and consider whether they are exhibiting that fruit of the spirit.
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Fruit of the Spirit Study: Gentleness (for Middle and High School Students)
