Book Bites 2020: Notes and Quotes from Great Books

“Most people need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice.”

“Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.”

“We are all implicated when we allow other people to be mistreated. An absence of compassion can corrupt the decency of a community, a state, a nation. Fear and anger can make us vindictive and abusive, unjust and unfair, until we all suffer from the absence of mercy and we condemn ourselves as much as we victimize others.”

“…today, our self-righteousness, our fear, and our anger have caused even the Christians to hurl stones at the people who fall down, even when we know we should forgive or show compassion. I told the congregation that we can’t simply watch that happen. I told them we have to be stonecatchers.”

This was a lot of fun to read because the descriptions of the author’s husband and their interactions were like reading the story of our relationship in so many ways.  Lots of humor, along with nuggets like this:

“…we’re all waiting on something, no matter where we are in life. It’s the human condition.”

“Prosperity knits a man to the world. He feels that he is finding his place in it, while really it is finding its place in him.”

“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.”

“Parents who want to raise grateful kids need to start by living grateful lives.”

I wrote an entire post distilling what I learned from this book, along with a few others. For lots of tips and ideas to improve your sleep, check out my Better Sleep Cheat Sheet.

“We don’t want to choose between science and religion or between our intellectual integrity and our faith. Instead, we long for our churches to be safe places to doubt, to ask questions, and to tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. We want to talk about the tough stuff—biblical interpretation, religious pluralism, sexuality, racial reconciliation, and social justice—but without predetermined conclusions or simplistic answers. We want to bring our whole selves through the church doors, without leaving our hearts and minds behind, without wearing a mask.”

“We don’t learn to love each other well in the easy moments.”

“Fasting gives me a chance to practice the discipline of not having what I want at every moment…”

“…the very things you think you need most desperately are the things that can transform you the most profoundly when you do finally decide to release them.”

This has helped me think about the benefits of choosing to deny myself things that I want for the sole purpose of practicing discipline.  Not to live a life of complete denial and austerity, but to remind myself that many things I mistakenly think are necessary for my happiness (coffee creamer!) are really not. 

“Fortunately, being mindful of family time—making a commitment to be there physically and mentally and enjoy life while doing so—makes memories possible. We control a lot less about our children’s outcomes in life than we think. They are their own people. But one thing parents do shape is whether kids remember their childhoods as happy. Creating a happy home is a conscious choice, as is creating a happy marriage.”

“Productivity is not about getting more things done; it’s about getting the right things done.”

“Disappointing some people in life is inevitable, so make sure you’re not disappointing the ones who matter most”

“In a world where information is freely available, focus becomes one of the most valuable commodities in the workplace.”

One of my favorite quotes of all time…

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

And she goes on with more goodness…

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time. A schedule is a mock-up of reason and order—willed, faked, and so brought into being; it is a peace and a haven set into the wreck of time; it is a lifeboat on which you find yourself, decades later, still living.”

“Similarly, the impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.”

“There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by.”

“It’s easier to hold on to your principles 100% of the time than it is to hold them 98% of the time.”

This is another quote that I’ve been mulling over.  The idea that I am much more likely to act in accordance to my stated principles if I view them in terms of all or nothing.  “I am a person who tells the truth,” provides a foundation for living that is far more helpful in decision making than, “I tell the truth most of the time, except when…X, Y, or Z happens.”

“When we experience awe, time slows down.  It expands. We feel like we have more of it.  And that sensation lifts our well-being.”

On mornings: drink water before coffee when you wake up
On taking breaks: something beats nothing, moving beats stationary, outside beats inside
On beginnings: take advantage of the fresh start effect (new year, new month, new week, first day of season, birthdays)
On middles: don’t break the chain

“It is so easy to overestimate the importance of one defining moment and underestimate the value of making small improvements on a daily basis.”

“If you want better results, then forget about setting goals.  Focus on your system instead. What do I mean by this?  Are goals completely useless?  Of course not.  Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.”

“The implicit assumption behind any goal is this: Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy.  The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone.”

“Ultimately, your habits matter because they help you become the type of person you wish to be.”

4 Laws of Behavior Change:

1. Make it obvious
2. Make it attractive
3. Make it easy
4. Make it satisfying

“The amount of time you have been performing a habit is not as important as the number of times you have performed it.”

“…our circumstances turn up the heat until we see what’s in our hearts.”

“By placing our joy, trust, and hope in Christ rather than our situation, our hearts will have a solid, unwavering foundation to rest in regardless of our ever-changing environment.  We do this by…believing God’s goodness never fails.  It’s knowing that he is in control and we are not—and believing that’s a good thing.”

My review of this riveting memoir: