Fruit of the Spirit Monthly Scripture Focus: Self-Control
As part of our monthly character lessons, we are going through the fruits of the spirit one by one. This month’s character lesson focus is self-control.
Follow along with us as you invite and encourage your teens to allow God’s spirit to develop their character. The content of this monthly study is geared for middle and high school students, but feel free to adapt if you wish for younger students. Included are a variety of suggestions to use throughout the month to focus on gentleness as described in the Bible.
At the end of this article, you’ll find the complete list of monthly character lessons based on fruits of the spirit, and will be able to click directly through to any additional lessons you wish to access.
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Fruit of the Spirit Passage
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
Self-Control in the Bible
Question: How many times does the word self-control appear in the Bible?
Answer: 38 times in the ESV**
**statistics from logos.com. Each translation will have a slightly different count.
Big Picture: How the Bible Talks about Self-Control
1 // Self-control sets protective boundaries against being controlled by someone or something else
A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. Proverbs 25:28 (ESV)
2 // Self-control is an outward attribute of a godly life.
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:3-8 (ESV)
3 // Self-control is possible through the working of the Holy Spirit within us.
…for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)
What Does the Bible Say about Self-Control?
Look at the following scriptures and ask these two questions.
Question #1: What do I learn about God and how He views self-control from this scripture?
Question #2: Is there any instruction for me in this scripture about how I should exhibit self-control?
Scriptures about Self-Control
The verse in Galatians listing out fruit of the spirit that will be evident in our lives as we follow Jesus and obey the spirit’s leading culminates in the fruit of self-control.
Read the scriptures below that reference self-control and consider the questions asked above.
Bible Verses that Reference Self-Control
Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27a (NLT)
…in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that! 2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NLT)
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ… Titus 2:11-13 (ESV)
In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. 2 Peter 1:5-7 (NLT)
Examples of Self-Control in Scripture
Look up one or more of the following passages to read a story displaying self-control in some way. Ask yourself these two questions.
- How do I see self-control in action here?
- What does God want to teach me about self-control from this passage?
Passage #1
Matthew 4:1-11 (Jesus)
This account of Jesus being “tempted” or enduring a trial during a time of fasting for forty days is a perfect display of Jesus’ self-control. The first test involves Jesus being tempted to miraculously turn stones into bread to feed his very real hunger. Next is a test to prove God’s power. And finally, the test to worship the devil and bypass the suffering Jesus knows is to come.
In each temptation, Jesus uses scripture to reinforce the truth of God above the lies that temptation would have us believe.
Passage #2
Nehemiah 4 (Nehemiah)
The background to this passage is God’s prophet Nehemiah working for the king of Persia and mourning for the state of Jerusalem. After fasting and praying over this sorrow, Nehemiah had the opportunity to request permission to rebuild the city. Permission granted, he organized a work crew and began rebuilding the wall.
Obviously, Israel’s enemies were not thrilled to see this happening, and made plans to attack the Jewish people while they were hard at work.
This story displays the importance of self-control of the mind. Rather than panic, react in fear, or throw up his hands in defeat, Nehemiah calmly devises a plan to continue the work while preparing to defend themselves if necessary.
Passage #3
Joshua 6:1-16 (Joshua)
Joshua has assumed the role of leader of the Israelites after Moses’ death and they are finally ready to march on the city of Jericho. Upon receiving the command of the Lord to march around the city and return to camp without attacking—and to do this not once, but six days in a row—Joshua obeys. His example of self-control exhibited both mentally and physically is indicative of his soul-deep trust in his God and willingness to obey.
Examples in Scripture of a Heart Lacking in Self-Control
Now, look up one or more of the following passages and think about these questions.
- Describe the lack of self-control in this story.
- What can we learn from the lack of self-control we read about in these passages?
Genesis 25:29-34 (Esau)
In stark contrast to Jesus’ self-control after 40 days of fasting in the wilderness, this short story probably feels much more familiar to us. Esau is hungry, really hungry, and that hunger consumes his thoughts. He focuses all his attention on this desire to eat and is willing to give up anything to satisfy that hunger.
Joshua 7 (Achan)
God had given the Israelites specific instructions about not taking anything from the city of Jericho. Achan saw some things he wanted, knowingly disobeyed God’s command, and took some of those things for himself.
A lack of self-control can be an example of us putting ourselves in the place of God and deciding for ourselves what is good, right, or beneficial rather than submitting to God’s commands and plans.
(Students who want to read more about the complexity of this story may be interested in this article from GotQuestions.org.)
1 Samuel 13:8-14 (Saul)
The Israelites were surrounded by a huge Philistine army and greatly afraid. Back in Chapter 10, King Saul had been told by Samuel to wait seven days, when Samuel would come to offer sacrifices. At this time, priestly roles were very important, and the king was not permitted to be the one to present the sacrificial offerings.
Saul waited seven days, but before the day was over, he decided to go ahead and make the offerings himself in order to maintain order with the people. His lack of self-control showed that he did not trust God and felt the need to take matters into his own hand.
Reflection Questions
Now that you’ve read several Bible verses about self-control, seen examples of self-control in action and examples of people not exhibiting self-control, reflect on the following two questions.
- Would others describe me as a person characterized by self-control?
- How can I express this fruit of the spirit—self-control—in a practical way in my life this month?
Audio/Video Content Related to Self-Control
Fruit of the Spirit: Self-Control (YouTube – 412teens.org)
God’s Story – Fruit of the Spirit – Self-Control (YouTube – Crossroads Kids’ Club)
Self-Control (YouTube – The Bible Applied)
Martyn-Lloyd Jones sermons on Ephesians 6
Music Related to Self-Control
Add some of these to your regular music playlist this month. Listen while you study, clean your room, or take a walk.
Psalm 26 (YouTube – The Psalms Project)
Give Me Self Control (YouTube – Sovereign Grace Music Kids)
Give Us Clean Hands (YouTube – Chris Tomlin Music)
Psalm 1 (YouTube – Psalms Project)
Prayer Related to Self-Control
Your relationship with God is deepened by not only listening to His word, but communicating back to Him through prayer.
Following are prayers you can personalize and pray from your heart. Your words don’t have to be fancy. Simply thank God for His good order and boundaries and ask him to empower you through the Holy Spirit to live a self-controlled life.
Lord God, thank you for your grace that teaches me to say no to ungodliness and giving in to whatever I want in the moment. I deeply desire to align my words, thoughts and actions to your will and ask for your spirit to produce in me increasing measures of self-control as you remind me that I am a new creation in Christ.
(based on Titus 2:12)
Father God, I know that my citizenship is in heaven with you. Keep me alert and watchful for ways I may be tempted to forget that and live as though right now is all that matters. Give me the ability to control my words, thoughts, and actions and bring glory to you by exhibiting self-control in difficult circumstances.
(based on 1 Peter 4:7)
Heavenly Father, your word says that you do not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and self-control. Remind me of this when I am afraid and want to react out of fear of what people will say, fear of not getting what I think I need, or fear that you aren’t going to fix what I want fixed in the moment. Help me to respond with a spirit of self-control, remembering that you are powerful, your provision is abundant, and your timing is perfect.
(based on 2 Timothy 1:7)
Key Bible Verses about Self-Control
Choose one verse to memorize this month, either from the selections listed, or find another scripture that speaks to the attribute of self-control. Make sure it is a verse you have not already memorized!
Proverbs 10:19
Proverbs 21:23
Proverbs 25:28
Romans 12:2
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
1 Corinthians 9:25
1 Corinthians 10:13
Philippians 4:8
2 Timothy 1:7
Titus 2:12
James 1:19
1 Peter 3:10
1 Peter 4:7
2 Peter 1:5-6
Additional Reading on the Topic of Self-Control
Your Future Self Will Thank You by Drew Dyck
The Mortification of Sin by John Owen
The Way Out – Teen Devotional: 30 Devotions on Temptation and Self-Control by Lifeway
Galatians 5:22-23
Read through the passage several times this month to help you commit it to memory. Just reading the verse repeatedly as you go through studying a different fruit of the spirit each month will help you to “hide God’s word in your heart.”
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
Monthly Fruit of the Spirit Word Study
Moving through the fruit of the spirit in order they are listed in the passage, this is the progression throughout the school year. However, you could certainly choose to rearrange the topics if you chose to do so.
For example, you could explore the character trait of being loving in February to tie in with Valentine’s Day or study joy in December to correspond to Christmas activities. Each word stands alone and the resources do not build on one another, so you have freedom to “drag and drop” into whichever time period you wish.
Monthly Fruit of the Spirit Study for Students
This isn’t a typical Bible study in the sense of having daily or weekly lessons. Instead, it’s intended to be used as a supplemental study that’s low-key and flexible.
The monthly focus on one specific fruit of the spirit gives plenty of opportunity for discussion, scripture study, and reflection.
Even if your kids are doing a regular Bible study (which I hope they are), you can add in a few scriptures, a video, have them listen to a piece of music or read a poem each month and consider whether they are exhibiting that fruit of the spirit.
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Fruit of the Spirit Study: Self-Control (for Middle and High School Students)
