Encouraging Your Kids to Be Disciplined
Self-discipline is a character trait that feels very aspirational to a lot of us. We see the value of it, but it’s just so much work to maintain. Discipline is key to helping your kids become responsible adults. As part of our character counts series, let’s look at how to encourage self-discipline in kids.
Without self-discipline, our kids will not be able to persevere through the hard stuff to achieve their goals. They won’t be able to maintain healthy habits. They’ll struggle to ignore distractions to focus on what’s important. And they will rarely delay gratification in favor of a long-term outcome.
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Character Trait of the Month List
Each month, as part of our homeschool learning, I focus on a specific character trait. There are many character traits worth pursuing, but given the time frame of the school year, I narrowed my list down to ten. Given the tendency for many to make resolutions and work on healthy habits in January, it seems an appropriate month to focus on self-discipline.
3 Simple Ways to Encourage Self-Discipline
Here are three ways you can encourage your child to practice self-discipline today.
PROVIDE STRUCTURE
First, implement regular routines. Routines take some of the decision fatigue out of the equation even for kids. Teach your kids a daily morning routine, including brushing teeth and hair, getting dressed, and making the bed. An evening routine can encompass reading, brushing teeth, and tidying up. Having some structure built into the day will create ways of being disciplined that become habit and no longer need to rely on willpower.
ALLOW NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
Second, allow your kids to experience natural consequences of non-disciplined decisions. If your kids sneak too many cookies, they’ll probably get a stomachache. When they don’t put their homework into their backpack after completing it, they may forget to grab it in the morning scramble to get out the door. Experiencing the negative consequences that occur without exercising self-discipline is a powerful learning tool that will provide greater behavioral change than your repeated reminders.
POINT OUT THE POSITIVE
Third, make a point to talk about the positive outcomes as a result of self-discipline. The other side of the natural consequences coin is the positive outcome your child experiences when they do exhibit self-discipline. We tend not to notice and name these positive outcomes. Help your child give credit to their discipline as the means to desired results. Praise their discipline in practicing an instrument, turning in work on time, waking up early to walk the dog, or showing up to sports practice with a positive attitude. Progress is made in steady steps through daily and weekly commitments.
Exploring Self-Discipline with Quotes and Questions
Here are a few quotes about self-discipline, along with questions you can use to engage your kids in conversation or use as a writing assignment or journal prompt.
Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.
Abraham Lincoln
Question: Write about an example of something you want now conflicting with something you want most.
Discipline weighs ounces, and regret weighs tons.
Jim Rohn
Question: What does this mean to you? Have you seen any examples of this principle played out in people you know or have read about? What do you not want to regret?
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.
Jim Rohn
Question: Do you have any big goals for your life? Can you envision a way discipline factors into your ability to accomplish those goals?
We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.
Jesse Owens
Question: Does thinking about this inspire you or does it make you feel overwhelmed? What baby steps can you take toward making a dream a reality?
More Self-Discipline Quotes
Here are a few additional quotes about self-discipline you may wish to consider as alternatives, or use in addition to the four above.
Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.
Elbert Hubbard
We don’t drift into good directions. We discipline and prioritize ourselves there.
Andy Stanley
Self discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you can’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do.
Napoleon Hill
Motivation gets you going, and discipline keeps you growing.
John C. Maxwell
Self-Discipline News Articles and Reports
Here are a few sources for news articles containing stories of self-discipline. One way to teach self-discipline to kids is to show them specific examples of it in action.
Science News for Students
The website sciencenewsforstudents.org is a great resource for science-related news articles written specifically for kids.
Hurdling Poverty to Find a Life in Science: This is a long article, but touches on great points about self-discipline related to sports and study skills.
DOGO News
Another source for kid-friendly news articles is dogonews.com
Ironman Chris Nikic Proves No Dream or Goal is Unachievable: Inspiring story of 21-year-old who became the first person with Down Syndrome to complete an Ironman triathlon.
Books that Explore Self-Discipline
These books explore the theme of self-discipline through engaging stories. Value Tales: The Value of Self-Discipline by Ann Donegan Johnson tells the story of Alexander Graham Bell. This is part of the excellent Value Tales series, which is out of print. You can still find used copies on out there and I’ve even found them through my local library system. Salt in His Shoes by Deloris Jordan introduces Michael Jordan as a child, and how he committed to working hard in pursuit of his dream. How to Achieve Big PHAT Goals by Dean Lindsay will encourage your middle and high school student to connect their goals to an internal motivation and discipline themselves to achieve them. Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations by Alex and Brett Harris offers stories and examples to provide inspiration for teens to start disciplining themselves now for a life of impact.
Short Video Content Related to Self-Discipline
These links are videos I added to my kids’ Google classrooms in January to focus on self-discipline.
The Marshmallow Test (YouTube – Igniter Media): Version of the famous marshmallow test conducted at Stanford in the 1960s. Ask your kids how willing they would be to wait for something they wanted if they were told they would get double for waiting.
Michelle Obama’s Advice for Students (YouTube – The Outcome): Commencement speech delivering advice about the value of hard work and determination.
The Secret to Building Self-Discipline (YouTube – TopThink): Video for older kids and teens about building self-control and good habits.
Movies with a Self-Discipline Theme
Coach Carter is the story of a basketball coach who insisted on discipline from his players in academics as well as on the court.
Miracle tells the story of Herb Brooks, who brought together a group of undisciplined amateur athletes and coached them to Olympic gold.
Jiro Dreams of Sushi is a documentary that follows Japanese sushi master Jiro Ono, and the discipline it takes to achieve three Michelin stars.
Activities to Encourage Self-Discipline in Kids
Try some of these ways to develop self-discipline in your child.
JOIN A TEAM
Your child will learn tremendous discipline habits by being part of a team. This can be a sports team, school orchestra, debate team, theatre troupe, or any number of groups where your child is expected to work together towards a goal. Your kids will learn that consistent hard work in practice and preparation pays off during games and performances. Making connections between rigorous effort and visible improvement teaches the value of discipline without you having to say anything.
BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMETHING
Kids can learn self-discipline through taking care of a pet. They can take on the task of packing their own lunches or checking the mail. Give your kids a regular chore or responsibility that they do at least weekly, if not daily. While your kids may complain about chores, ultimately they will feel a sense of accomplishment when they see how their hard work contributes to the family.
SET GOALS
You don’t have to save goal setting for New Year’s. Encourage your kids to set a goal: a number of books to read in a month, running a mile, or learning to play chess. Breaking down the steps needed to reach their goal and making consistent and incremental progress toward the goal is discipline in action.
Scriptures to Encourage Self-Discipline
We know that one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control, which is intimately related to self-discipline. Read and study with your kids what the Bible has to say about being disciplined.
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7 (NASB)
Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.
Proverbs 25:28 (NIV)
Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8 (ESV)
Free Printable Self-Discipline Quotes and Questions
By subscribing to my mailing list, you have access to my printables library, where you can download a free printable list of these four quotes and accompanying questions. Use them as discussion questions, a writing assignment, or journal prompts.
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How to Encourage Self-Discipline in Kids
Self-discipline requires continuous practice. Many researchers believe that we have a finite amount of willpower and self-control available to us. Help your kids create healthy habits that become part of their daily lives. Then, they can use their available willpower to make disciplined decisions in other areas.
Encourage them to establish daily routines, allow them to experience natural consequences of undisciplined actions and point out the ways self-discipline benefits them.
Have them practice by joining a team, learning a musical instrument, or taking a rigorous class. Give them responsibility and teach them to set goals and put in the daily work to accomplish them.
You will never regret the efforts you spend modeling and encouraging self-discipline.
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January Character Trait Focus: Discipline
